Yesterday, I woke up feeling the happiest I’ve felt in a while, the sun seemed brighter and the air smelled better. I’ve concluded that in my head when I felt a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a long time. Why? No reason, but I had my mom and dad on my mind.
The past 2 years has been the most challenging days of my life, every part of me – family, career, friends etc everything showed it’s true colours, yooo the struggle. Now, I won’t say out loud that what I am going through eventually brought depression in my life, because I am too proud of a person to admit it. Simple things were hard to do face, one of them (which happens to be an important aspect in my career) is social media. Hmmmmmmmmm my relationship with social media was a roller coaster. At first, when things were kicking off, you get free shit, you get free trips, and I found myself to be ‘un-grateful’ . I was thinking like why am I putting so much effort on something I can’t grasp, feeling guilty about not doing enough for society and animals ( I truly see myself working for animals until I die I just dk how yet ), you know shit I truly loved.
BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
WELL, AM I GOOD? DO I DESERVE IT?
People say heartbreak from loosing a lover a true pain, NO, loosing yourself is true pain. I can’t help but to feel guilt by not doing enough and at the same time, beating myself up for not being grateful enough for the things I have received. Maybe one day I will have the gut to tell the full story, but for now, l just hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Neeta Manis 